Finding Something Great
I want to get shot into the sky. Take the fall and experience the exhilaration knowing I might die. Such a dangerous thing, the lure of adrenaline. I feel the need, the want, the call. They ask me all the time if I'm doing fine. I don't know how to answer, other than to stare and dream in silence. They think I'm depressed and struggle to understand why I'm so tense. Yet, I know something they don't. Something they can't understand, no more like they won't. I want to do something great and being stuck to the ground fills me with hate. I see a flash and a blur. They're the thoughts in my mind, they're my spur. There on the ground I see it now. It's the story as old as time. They carry twice their weight, I don't understand how. The answer to their abilities is so sublime...
I'm always dissatisfied with what opportunities I'm given. "This isn't great enough," is what I believe in. There's something I missed, it's all the things I had wished. They're already there. I just need to pursue them. I don't understand when or where they might lead me. I just need to let them free. That thought sparkling like a hidden gem. People need to understand the facts, even though I might seem lazy or lax and sometimes am. I always strive for something purposeful, but life seems to always cram something in the place reserved for the meaningful. Leaving me wondering what I might have been.
Sincerely,
- My Recent Past
I know the answer to my search for finding something great is God, but I want to do something great for Him. I have ideas brewing in my head and I wish to follow them. This is where my story continues...
Monday, October 1, 2012
Most Frustrating Answer...
Wednesday, September 12, 2012
Crash and Burn....
Monday, August 13, 2012
Poems from my Past
The Ink and The Drawing:
I watch as it drops,The Gate:
I see a light shiningTowards me, it is coming.
A narrow path with an open door,
Here to lead me to something more.
There is nothing I can do,
but face its way.
It leaves me breathless,
without a thing to say.
There's nothing I can do...
So I step through.
Personality:
Monday, July 23, 2012
Bleh...
Signing off,
- The need for creativity
Monday, July 16, 2012
Day 3
Figured it out
So I figured it out... I'm leaving, I think. We'll see how it works out. I'm excited and depressed, but more on that later once I get the details worked out. Sad thing, I was bored a few minutes ago and I decided I would read my facebook timeline from bottom to top. It started on June 14th 2008. That's four years ago and yet somehow I don't remember much of it all. As I was reading I realized that I used to have some really solid friends who used to help me with everything, but as time has gone on I've lost touch with them and some of them I haven't talked to in years and what's more is a lot of them I'd feel strange ever contacting again. It makes me realize how sobering this trip of mine might actually be... because in all likely hood I could be gone for up to four years and that's pretty close to how long it's been since I left Minnesota. I'm extremely afraid of losing the great friendships I've made over the past couple of years. I don't want to let go again for the fourth time. I mean I guess it's just for school so I should be able to visit a lot, but still I think it'll be harsh not being able to see my family and friends every now and again instead of every few months. I do feel like it is what God's calling me to do though so I won't argue... It's just hard to put all my trust in Him sometimes. Prayer would be helpful if you're willing.Best wishes,
- The Nostalgic Mind
Sunday, June 3, 2012
Day 2
Back Again...
So my answer, I believe, is drawing close. I've been praying and waiting for God to meet me. I think He's getting somewhere and convicting me more strongly. I'm still looking to understand who I am, but I think now it's not as important for me. Mainly the reason being that I feel like God will provide. There's this one thought that God is stirring in my mind that I am really quite scared of pursuing, but I guess the thing is there's no reason to be anxious for tomorrow is there?*change in thought...
One thing that's been bugging me as of late is how little time I devote to reading and writing anymore... I used to read hundreds of books every summer. Yet, now I can't remember the last time I actually finished a book or even started one. It's really saddening to me. I say I don't have time, but I'm always a nightowl so why not just do it then? Eh, whatever we'll see how that goes I've been lacking sleep as of late. Speaking of which another thing that bugs me is how rarely I dream anymore. Dreams used to be the boost to my creativity, but now that I'm lacking them... I'm lacking much inspiration.
Regards,
- That Small Bit of Conviction
Monday, May 21, 2012
Addiction
From,
- The Daydream