I want to get shot into the sky. Take the fall and experience the exhilaration knowing I might die. Such a dangerous thing, the lure of adrenaline. I feel the need, the want, the call. They ask me all the time if I'm doing fine. I don't know how to answer, other than to stare and dream in silence. They think I'm depressed and struggle to understand why I'm so tense. Yet, I know something they don't. Something they can't understand, no more like they won't. I want to do something great and being stuck to the ground fills me with hate. I see a flash and a blur. They're the thoughts in my mind, they're my spur. There on the ground I see it now. It's the story as old as time. They carry twice their weight, I don't understand how. The answer to their abilities is so sublime...

I'm always dissatisfied with what opportunities I'm given. "This isn't great enough," is what I believe in. There's something I missed, it's all the things I had wished. They're already there. I just need to pursue them. I don't understand when or where they might lead me. I just need to let them free. That thought sparkling like a hidden gem. People need to understand the facts, even though I might seem lazy or lax and sometimes am. I always strive for something purposeful, but life seems to always cram something in the place reserved for the meaningful. Leaving me wondering what I might have been.

Sincerely,

- My Recent Past


I know the answer to my search for finding something great is God, but I want to do something great for Him. I have ideas brewing in my head and I wish to follow them. This is where my story continues...

Monday, August 13, 2012

Poems from my Past

The Ink and The Drawing:

I watch as it drops,
A dark liquid it never stops.
Plop, plop, plop it hits the white snow.
Twisting, turning, curving, I watch it go.
Creating something new
Something I never imagined
Totally out of the blue
But why is it so construed?
I demand it to follow my wishes…
It doesn’t listen; it seems as if it’s possessed
I ask it why and it confesses…
I just want what I want
For no outside forces to give me the taunt.
That I might be something beautiful.
I don’t want you to say I just made this,
You just need to be purposeful
And pretend it’s pure bliss.
I want it not to be your own doing
Despite others constant wondering
Despite what they say or you may hear
I want you to say you just let it appear.

The Gate:

I see a light shining
Towards me, it is coming.
A narrow path with an open door,
Here to lead me to something more.
There is nothing I can do,
but face its way.
It leaves me breathless,
without a thing to say.
There's nothing I can do...
So I step through.


Personality:

Is He meant to be one and the same?

Personality? 
Or is He meant to be in opposition? 
Brave no, but tame.

Jack of many trades is his name, 
Which path shall He take, 
What shall He make, 
This or that? 
Wearing his changeable hat.  



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